


"I'm sorry, Tommy."

by indiffrntnewt



Series: my newtmas oneshots [13]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Love Confession, Love Confessions, M/M, Newt has the flare, Newts Death Scene, it's the moment where newt is basically sitting on top of thomas, movie verse, you know the one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26864269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indiffrntnewt/pseuds/indiffrntnewt
Summary: In the short moment that Newt regains his sanity, he realizes a few things.
Relationships: Newt/Thomas (Maze Runner)
Series: my newtmas oneshots [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1309421
Comments: 17
Kudos: 99





	"I'm sorry, Tommy."

Despite his insanity only seconds ago, Newt's voice sounds clear when he speaks. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Tommy."

"It's okay," Thomas says, and he repeats it over and over again, gently squeezing Newt's shoulder. They're quiet for a moment, chests heaving, both of them waiting for the other to make a move. 

Thomas’ mind races, trying to get it together so he can think of a way to save Newt now that he’s so far gone. 

Newt’s mind races, thinking of all the conversations they’ve had, all the opportunities he should’ve taken. Even though most of his memories are hazy due to the madness slowly consuming his mind, every single interaction with his loved ones is etched into his brain. Every single time he should’ve told them he cared, should’ve protected them, should’ve saved them. It’s maddening -- maybe even more maddening than the Flare.

But now, in this small, sudden moment of sanity, only one thing is clear to him.

He should’ve told Thomas. 

The thought makes his head spin and his heart burn, and he latches onto the feeling, knowing that it’s the only way to keep him sane for just a few more seconds. Just enough time for him to do what he should have done ages ago. 

He can see the fear in Thomas’ eyes as he realizes Newt is about to do something, and tries to show him that he’s still sane -- still _him_ \-- by reaching out to softly place his hand on Thomas’ cheek. It’s enough to calm Thomas down, and Newt takes a moment to wonder how, and when, they learned to read each other so well. 

He can feel the bitter taste of blood in his own mouth and spits it out, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. It’s still wet from the water he’d landed in only minutes ago.

“Newt -”

Whatever Thomas had wanted to say, Newt would never know, because now he’s kissing him, trying to tell him everything he never got to say in that short and painful moment. It’s nothing like he imagined. It’s not beautiful, it’s not relieving. It’s urgent. It’s painful, more than anything, and he pulls away from the kiss sooner than he ever thought he could. 

He presses their foreheads together. Thomas’ breath hitches, and if Newt didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought Thomas laughed at him. But he sits up, sees the tears in Thomas’ eyes, and knows it was a sob more than anything. 

“I’m sorry.”

He moves quickly, taking the gun out of Thomas’ jeans and pressing it to the side of his head.

**Author's Note:**

> i originally wrote this on twitter for @bloodycounting (hi kaja) and then figured i'd post it on here too lmao. i'm aware of how short it is, but i promise i'm working on a few new fics! this is just to keep you guys entertained (and sad) in the meantime :)


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